“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
-Leo Buscaglia, author and motivational speaker
It is likely that you are already familiar with birth and postpartum doulas, people who care for those who are pregnant before, during, and after the birth process. Doulas work in tandem with doctors, nurses, nurse midwives, and other care practitioners and are a dedicated source of support to the client and their family during this crucial time.
When a baby is coming into the world there is often an overabundance of support. Society teaches us that the birth of a baby is a joyful event, and many are eager to be a part of this process. Sadly, those at the end of their lives do not often receive the same level of support. Many of us have been conditioned culturally, socially, and/or spiritually not to talk about death, therefore when death affects us, or someone close to us, we find ourselves unable to cope, much less able to be truly helpful to the person dying or their family.
The hardest thing about illness, death, and dying is that you have to go through it alone, even if you are surrounded by many well-meaning people who love you, and who truly want to help, it is your journey and you are the one who must endure all that it brings. Add to this that our society is generally ill-equipped to talk about death and dying, and even our closest loved ones may fall short of truly being able to witness our experience and hold space for it, without trying to fix it.
This is where end-of-life doula (EOLD) care can truly make a difference. Just as the birthing doula does, the EOLD acts as the dedicated support person for the dying individual to truly witness their experience and hold space for their journey. Doulas are not therapists or nurses, however we can provide emotional and spiritual support, and can also assist with more practical matters associated with the administrivia of death such as helping to complete advance care directives, naming health care proxies, planning final vigils, completing legacy projects, and other unfinished business that may be weighing heavily on the client’s mind. We will also discuss what care is preferred after death and ensure to connect with the appropriate religious and/or funerary partners when that time comes.
In short, an EOLD advocates for the dying person to have agency at the end of their lives so that they can play an active role in the choices that are being made. Death will touch us all, however we do not have to be a mere bystander. Our lives are lived with meaning, and EOLD care ensures our end-of-life experience is also meaningful.